3rd June 2024, 12:51am – Journal Entry #44

Mood: Meh
Weather: 28°C, Clear
Location: Mont Fleuri, Mahe, Seychelles

Returned from my mother’s place a few hours ago and then my sister and I was discussing plans for the new business so I haven’t actually been able to sit down at the desk to type up an entry until now. Was disappointed because I went to collect the supposed vegan chocolate that my mother told me she purchased. They were not vegan but halal. Why am I not surprised that the bunch of sales people at the Sri Lankan duty free don’t know the difference between vegan and halal? Come to think of it, this is exactly what happened when I went up to them to ask them if they had vegan chocolate during the Christmas season. My mother was disappointed too and told me that she wouldn’t have purchased the 3 packs of chocolates had she known they weren’t vegan. The brand is called “Harison” which I honestly have never heard of before. The good thing is that my sister is vegetarian so she’s taken them. I do feel bad that my mother spent money to buy something that I can’t eat. I told her that next time, ask for “dairy-free” or “no milk”, whichever one she remembers.

Spent a few hours at the store putting up some more clearance items. I didn’t even eat lunch at all until close to 8pm. If it’s something I don’t like to do, it’s to skip lunch and push everything to dinner. I didn’t expect us to stay at my mum’s for that long. While I was at the store, an AC guy we hired a while back passed by for a few minutes. One of the first things he did was turn to me and asked “what happened to you?” talking about my weight loss. His tone didn’t make it sound like a compliment, which I find irritating. In Seychelles when you lose weight, they question if it’s an illness or if you’re depressed. If you gain weight, they talk about you to everyone they know as if you’ve turned fat and ugly. Basically, you can’t win. I’ve never clicked with South Asian men, I feel they are rude beyond what I can comprehend. That said, his eyes did some talking too, and he didn’t look at my like he was disgusted. Another South Asian guy I know was talking to me about a conversation he had with his wife – he told her she’s gained so much weight. I don’t even understand guys who have no filter. My mother said that one of her friends who accompanies her to Maldives ate so much that “she looks like a seal”. Apparently, in Seychelles it’s a saying when someone is so fat, they look like a seal. I was today years old.

I’m Asian so my standards of what ideal is, is different from people here in Africa. I also really don’t want to attract local guys anymore so if they are disgusted at my weight then all the better. I definitely do feel much healthier as a slim person, I also look better both with clothes and without clothes.

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