22nd May 2024, 8:16am – Journal Entry #38

Mood: Anxious
Weather: 29°C, Clear
Vaping: Vozol 12000 Puffs Cool Mint
Location: Mont Fleuri, Mahe, Seychelles

Business has been relatively disappointing in the past 2 weeks, I’m developing anxiety over the business (my livelihood) as a result. Last night my sister and I had to have a progress and strategy meeting to recalibrate. When we first started our business, we strategized and recalibrated almost daily and we gave it everything we had from morning to midnight. Today is generally expected to be an “okay” day, so let’s hope the earnings pick up soon. I pulled out statistics from last year and although there was a dip on April (factoring in: March is tax season and April is back to school month so parents have to pay tuition, school supplies). But things definitely picked up on May 2023. The biggest question at the moment is: are we losing market share? One of the things we discussed was developing the business we tried to get into before our retail business started. I found it extremely tedious and time-consuming with little to no rewards and that was why we concentrated on something else. I need to work on my new business but priority still goes to the one that is currently running and putting food on the table.

Monday morning one of the new girls called us to let us know she’s going to the doctor because of a rash. Not even a week of being a casual worker, she already took an entire day off work. A reminder that in Seychelles the casualty/hospital is open on Sundays, but employees don’t want to spend their Sunday at the doctor’s and so they always go when they’re supposed to be at work because it’s on company time. Yesterday morning when we went to see if they’re okay, the same girl asked us if she could “reserve” 2 items. We told her that we don’t allow it because we have a first-come-first-served policy and in the event that she changes her mind, we would have lost the opportunity to sell the items. She said she wouldn’t change her mind. In the early evening when we returned to the store, we saw the 2 items under the desk, which means she had not purchased them. Last week she told us she required coffee because it’s what she drinks. Then she told us she also needs a microwave to warm her food. We got her coffee, we got her microwave. Last night we checked to see if the coffee was even opened – it wasn’t. We checked if the microwave was used, it hadn’t been. This worker is already becoming too problematic too soon. It is obvious that she has a spending problem (retail therapy?) and the need to just keep having new things. How was she not a problem in her previous workplace I wonder. At this point, I’m ready to employ the first girl but not ready to employ the 2nd one. But how do we put one on a contract and keep the other one as a casual without them feeling that we are being unfair? My stress levels are increasing and that’s never a good thing.

My new diet food isn’t working out for me. It’s basically boiled frozen vegetables with canned peeled tomatoes, canned mushrooms, pulses and a jar of pasta sauce boiled together. I thought okay I’ll do that for 5 days. The total amount of calories for everything is about 800 calories so each serving would be considerably much lower. But there is no “weight” to the meal, and I find myself having to supplement it with snacks. Weighed myself this morning, I’m 49Kgs. Not good. How can I even concentrate on anything when I’m stressed out about the business though?

Here are a few of the snacks I’ve purchased in the past few days:

I’m still decluttering my room. I started watching “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” to get some inspiration on throwing away old things that I will not need anymore. I don’t know what to do with the thousands of postcards I’ve accumulated over the decades. I’m transferring all the data from the hard drive I’ve used since 2010-2011 to the cloud. I’ve also spotted floppy disks from when I was 16-21 years old, I don’t even remember what I put in them but I think I’m definitely ready to throw them away. I think they have pictures and games in them.

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