Mood: Irritated 
Drinking: 7up Zero
Weather: 29°C, clear
I need to get a few things done and I’m hoping tomorrow is going to be a day I get up, go out and sort out a few documents. It’s stressing me out quite a bit. I already have a business name and I want to start selling things online on a more serious level so I will need a wholesale license, a TIN and a business bank account. In the past I’ve always paid my taxes using either my sister’s TIN or through our joint TIN. This year I just want to sort out my sole trader documents. What’s been stopping me? Social anxiety. Social anxiety doesn’t begin during an unwelcomed social situation. It begins right at the beginning of anticipating the imminent social situation. It changes my mood and I need to figure out how I’m going to get things done tomorrow if I’m already feeling this way.
I’ve had alprazolam on my mind lately. I have an entire blister of expired alprazolam in my first aid box. It was prescribed to my mother, and I took it from her but I never actually tried it and so it expired while in my possession. I don’t really know if she’s ever taken any or if she had intended to and then changed her mind, but I do know one pill is missing and it wasn’t me. Last night during dinner, I asked my mother if she needed anything from the pharmacy but that question confused her. She thought I was going to go to the pharmacy to get her whatever she needed, when I was actually hoping she could go, and then let her get a new blister of alprazolam. That said, this is Seychelles. There’s a very high chance I could just walk into the pharmacy and ask for a blister, and they’d sell me one. I mean, this place is pharmaceutical heaven after all. I think that would probably be the first order of the day tomorrow.
I’m watching this guy on Youtube describing the first time he ever took Xanax and it’s quite encouraging. Would it actually bring me one step closer to feeling “normal”?
I didn’t really do much today. I woke up at around 8:30am, fed the cats and then I can’t really remember what I did until around lunch time when I made a meal of vegetable broth, had a protein bar (from iHerb) and one of my durian sticks. I basically “lounged” all day. My sister and I then went to our store to restock, then headed to a nearby shop (Veni, Plaisance) to buy groceries and cleaning supply in the earlier part of the evening.
I snacked for dinner. I also tried 2 different types of oat milk, a regular one and a “barista” version. They were both alright but I just prefer soy milk over oat milk.
There is one oat milk however that just blows my mind, it’s incredibly delicious. It’s called Oatside. It’s also extremely high in calories – 130 calories for 200ml, it’s worth it but in extreme moderation. I won’t be buying anymore of those for a while. The oatmilks were all purchased at BuyRite, Plaisance. It’s amazing how easy it is to now find plant-based milk in Seychelles, almost every shop has got something for people seeking alternatives to cow’s milk.
